Derek! It's not worth it!
Look at all you've accomplished. Don't throw it away.
Think about the children.
1). Cleary, it's totally worth it.
2). Let's not dwell on the past instead I chose to look into my crystal ball and see more positive progress in my future.
3). I will think about them in the midst of my refreshment. I will disclose with them my fall from grace and use it as a teaching moment. I've always been transparent in my transgressions.
Look, I know Rick said no soda. But I don't think he fully understood the ramifications of that statement. How could he. He had no idea Crystal Pepsi would be making a temporary comeback in the late summer of 2016. I don't blame him, none of us knew.
Before I have you all show up at my cubicle with pitchforks and torches lets just bask in the greatness of this refreshing crystal tonic. For the love of all things good this is the only beverage that has it's own version of Oregon Trail. Brother John died of dysentery? Impossible I tell you, we packed 6 cases of Crystal Pepsi for the journey. If only the Donner party would have done the same.
If you don't believe me go to the words of Sammy Hagar
Right now, hey
It's your tomorrow
C'mon it's everything
Better yet listen to them